a moveable feast.: So I woke up this morning in a pool of my own blood.
Wait, let me back up.
Hi, my name is Cara and I’m a 21 year old woman. Every 28 days, give or take, I have a period. And it fucking sucks. Today, was one of those where I take from the 28 day cycle. I wasn’t due for another period for at least a week, but considering…
Yesterday Patrick and I signed, together, our first lease for an apartment. We had a picnic on our wood floors, with only the smell of paint for atmosphere. We sat there and just looked at each other. Patrick asked me if I was nervous, signing a two year lease with him, nervous for the prospect of it not working out. I looked at him and thought, honestly, searching for that nervous feeling. I concluded I wasnt nervous. What comes, comes and I am just so excited to be sharing these moments with him. I am excited because the man I always knew was there, is there. TCC in the fall, so dedicated to his job and to family and friends, sensitive and nerdy. He is there. Why should I be nervous? Plans are being planned left and right and I am just ecstatic. Not necessarily for the doing of the said plans, but that we are just making them. I dont know what the future will hold. I dont know if we will be together for our whole lives, but in five years time, I know he will be there. I will be there. And that is all the matters to me.
So no, I am not nervous or scared. This is an opportunity to grow. This is our time to make our lives what we want. To travel, to dance and to laugh. It would be a waste of heart to allow it to race over something so arbitrary as the future. My heart is racing because it just feels good to be alive and to be alive with someone as wonderful as him.
Today, I am calling in all the gas, water, electric and cleaning the new home. Ill be a busy girl with school coming to an end, and a home just beginning. This is good, and I hope others out there are good too.
